My Realization

In the beginning
A sniff
A few more sniffs. Sniff.  Sniff.  Sniff.
Days go by with more and more sniffing.
Sniff.  Sniff.  Sniff.
“Breathe.  Did you forget?  Breathe.”
Still sniffing. Sniff.  Sniff.
Only peace when there is sleep
Weeks go by.  Sniffing is endless.
Sniff.  Sniff.  Sniff.

One day the sniff stopped but . . .
Here came the hum. Hummm.  Hummm.
Hours later more humming.  Hummm.
Day after day humming.
Hummm.  Hummm.  Hummm.
“Stop doing that!”
“I can’t help it. Hummm.  Hummm.”
Tears run down his face.
Could it be?
I shouldn’t have yelled.

A birthday, a favorite movie and happiness
Still humming. Hummm.
Whispered, “Try to do it quietly.”
Muffled “Hummm, hummm.”
Big, sudden birthday surprise
The hum changes back to the sniff.
Hummm . . . Sniff.  Sniff.
Confirmation.  Sorrow.
It is.  I was wrong to yell.
Sniff.  Sniff. Guilty tears fall.

This poem is in memorial of some of the struggles my son goes through.  He has Tourette Syndrome and every day is a challenge.  Many times people don’t understand, especially with teachers at school.  And in the beginning I am ashamed to say, I didn’t understand either.